Posts Tagged ‘top jokes’

Weekly Re-Cap / Thoughts

- Do doctors clean their stethoscopes between patients? They put new paper on the exam table, wash their hands in front of you, use alcohol wipes on everything, but I’ve never seen them wipe the end of their stethoscopes between patients. When a doctor lifts my shirt to check my breathing, how do I know that he didn’t just come from some sweaty hairy dirty guy in the next room? Hmmmm. 

- Leah and I celebrated out 30th wedding anniversary!

- I know I promised to post a video blog about our adventure, but I got distracted. :) I will post it later today!

- Tons of work got done at our Clifton Park campus!I can’t believe the countless extra hours that so many staff and volunteers put in! It looks great!

- It was very interesting having our first Saturday night service in Clifton Park! It went very well!

- It was great hanging out with Jason, Kristy and William the other night! William is such a cool baby!

- I will be posting an extended Question From a Student this week about self-injury. It is a serious matter, and this will help me learn more about it.

- I can’t believe Middle School camp is already next week!

- How about we just have “chance of thunderstorms” everyday this summer.

- I’m not a big fan of “jokes”. Some are pretty funny though, but the ones below are kind of dumb if they are really some of the most popular jokes.

catlaugh.jpgTHE TOP JOKE IN THE WORLD:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services.  He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: “Take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.  Back on the phone, the hunter says, “OK, now what?” 

THE TOP JOKE IN GERMANY:

A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.” The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.” The dog replied, “But that would make no sense at all!” (I don’t get it)

THE TOP JOKE IN THE UK:

71_1_b.jpg71_1_b.jpgA woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

THE TOP JOKE IN THE US: (Go figure)

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man.”

The other man replies, “Yeah, well, we were married 35 years.”

AND MY FAVORITE: (Not really)

Why did the little strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam! Haha!