Posts Tagged ‘choosing friends’

How Do I Know If I Should Walk Away From A Friendship?

Don’t forget that UNITED is tonight at 6:30 in Clifton Park!!!!




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QUESTION: I have a few friends that I feel are causing me to do things that I shouldn’t do. How do I know if I should leave a friendship? How do I do it?

This is a great question and happens to be what I talked about last week at UNITED with the High School group. This is something that is for anyone, not just students. We all struggle with this one.

“Don’t fool yourselves. Bad friends will destroy you.” I Corinthians 15:33

No matter where you are in life, your friends will never leave you the same! They could be either bad or good.

I have talked with a lot of students over the years who who have told me about horrible situations that they are in. When I talk to students who’s lives have gone out of control and they find themselves in a place they thought they would never be (most of the time being far away from God), I ask them “How did you get here? How did you get to this point? Where did the wheels start to come off?”

99% of the time, they start the exact same way, “Well, I had these friends…” They would go on to tell me about how they had some friends that got them into a lot of trouble, or they met a guy or a girl that caused them a lot of unnecessary pain.

Sometimes we all do some crazy things to “belong” or feel “accepted”.

The bottom line is that there is no such thing as a mutual friend. Every friend that you have will effect you wither positively or negatively. Your friends will never leave you the same!

If you are anything like me, I hear something like that and I think I’m immune to that principle. That applies to someone else not me. If I choose to have bad friends (or good friends who do bad things and have a bad influence on me), I am smart enough to get out of those relationships before it destroys me. I’m too strong to let that happen.

Then…I’m reminded of guys in the Bible like Samson. Read Judges 13 and study his life.

If you choose to hang out with the wrong people, then they will take you to the wrong places.

Here are some final thoughts:

- Think of your top 3-5 closest friends. Do they have a positive or negative affect on you??

- God created us to be in a growing relationship with Him. If your friends are causing you to push farther and farther from God, then that is a problem.

- If you are a Christian, then it is okay to have friends that are not Christians, but we have to learn to make our closest circle of friends be people that are like-minded and will help you draw closer to God. Jesus hung out with some of the worst people in that society, but He also had His inner circle of friends that strengthened and encouraged Him. He didn’t look to others for direction in life.

You might say, “Okay, I have some close friends that I know are bringing me down. What do I do?”

I’m glad you asked! You can do one of three things:

1. You can do nothing. Unfortunately, this is what probably 90% of us will do. We end up sacrificing our future for a friendship.

2. You can step back. This doesn’t mean to totally leave the friendship, but it does mean spending less time there. You need to step back and put boundaries in place.

3. You can walk away. The wrong friends will lead you to the wrong places and you will end up in a place where your life won’t line up with God’s plans – That is called a wasted life. You can walk away from that. This is the hardest option to apply, but tough circumstances that we put ourselves in often requires tough choices to fix it. Ask God to send you the right friends.

I have seen so many students destroy part of their life because of choosing the wrong friends. Oftentimes they say, “Well, I want to ‘help’ my friend”, but they don’t set up any boundaries and they ended up taking that relationship to places that are dishonoring to God.

I will talk more about dating relationships in the near future.